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Aug. 4th, 2009

No words

There really aren't any words to even begin to describe what I am feeling right now. I still can't believe I am a Mom. A Mom to a beautiful baby boy named Ryan Taylor. He is so precious, I can't explain it. Maybe only Mom's can understand it. We named him after Ryan, and to keep to the R tradition, and the actor / character tradition of Rhett's family, as well as being my fathers middle name.

He was born on my 21st birthday. No better gift than that right? Rhett surprised me with the best gift of all. A dog tag bracelet with Ryan's name on it, his birthdate will be engraved in it later, and then his own dog tag was attached. I'll never take it off.

It all came as a surprise though. Rhett took me over to Rob's for a BBQ, when he got his own little surprise of a baby girl being left on his doorstep. One night stand, i guess. It was hilarious watching Rob freak out. He was litterally speechless. I was laughing so hard, it put me into labor. I ended up having to deliver Ryan on his couch. I feel so bad for ruining his couch, but he said not to worry about it, he wanted a new one anyway.

Rhett is so good with Ryan. He helps me out when ever he can, and it makes my heart swell when he holds him and seeing the look in his eyes when he watches Ryan. Amazing.

Well, I need to go now... catch you later.

Aug. 2nd, 2009

Ainslee-Girls.net

Los Angeles, CA - Melodi Lee and Rhett White just gave birth to their baby boy, Ryan Tyler White, on August 1, 2009. Baby Ryan weighed in at a healthy 7lbs 6oz for being born a month early, Melodi doing well, both released from the hospital with a clean bill of health. [Rhett] White is seen here, holding Ryan, a first glimpse at the newest addition to the celeberty families, White, the star Quarterback for Standford, whose brother is WWE Stuperstar Rob White, and Melodi Lee, whose sister is Ryan Ainslee, who the baby was named after. Both are beyond excited to welcome Baby Ryan into their world, and want to thank everyone for the gifts they sent for Ryan and Melodi as she recovered in the hospital.

When we were able to get into touch with Ryan and see what she thought of the baby being named after her, this is what she said, "To be honest? I'm honored and a little shocked. I think it's awesome that they chose Ryan for the name. Means that it's carried through three generations now, as it's our father's middle name." When asked how they were and what she could say, she gave little detail, but the following: "He is amazingly strong little guy with a powerful set of lungs and the brightest blue eyes, like his father. We just ask everyone respect thier privacy and give them a chance to settle in before they are hounded with people wanting photo's and statements."

He is a cutie and we hope all the best for you and your family, Mel.

May. 23rd, 2009

5 Months



I'm 5 months pregnant. It's hard to believe. Rhett put together the crib the other night to surprise me, then I helped with the changing station, which took him longer than normal, because I am sort of dumb when it comes to tools, and I was kinda reading the instructions wrong, lol. Go figure.

I am getting another ultrasound done next week, confirming Ryan being a boy.

BTW!!! GEORGE! HOMUHGAWD!!! I hear your song with Live Alibi!!! It so totally rocked!

Lance, if you want to end a friendship over the fact I wanted to make sure that my child's father is there and have some form of a relationship with him, whether it be friends or what ever, then you aren't the parent or friend I thought you were. You, of all people, I thought would understand.

May. 13th, 2009

Letter to Rhett

May. 12th, 2009

When the night falls in around me

I'm leaving for England on Saturday.

[Private]

I need to get my head on straight. I need to toughen up and not care. Not give a shit.... Be crazy like George, Becky, Ryan, Cali, Liv. But for some reason, it's just not in me. Maybe it comes with age and experience. Maybe one day I'll learn to stand up for myself and not be a fucking emotional wreck. I couldn't handle the lies any more. I've never lied. I don't want to start. So I told him. I didn't tell him who, that isn't his business. We're not a couple, right? Yet it hurt him. Why would it hurt him if he didn't care? if he can go fuck someone else, why can't i? because I'm pregnant? that's a real poor reason if you ask me...

So, i'm headed for Essex to get my shit straight and maybe do some growing up. Lord knows I fucking need too.

May. 8th, 2009

Christ

Just draw and quarter me now...

May. 1st, 2009

unbelievable

It's a boy!

( private )

I'm finally excited. This gets more real everyday. Until now. Now, it's real. I am carrying Rhett's son.

I feel so girly right now, and maybe I shouldn't. Alright. Take out the maybe. I know I shouldn't. It's my hormones talking. But I can't help it. When I look at Rhett, it's there. There isn't an "us". No matter how I feel, there will never be an "us". That is something I must grasp and remind myself everyday. Even as I live with him.

Yup. I am moving in with him, my own room. We won't share, I don't want to infringe on his private life. Anyway, shit happens, right?

Apr. 26th, 2009

OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!

I am by far, the luckiest girl in the whole fucking world!!!


Not only is Johnnie and Ash living with me while he looks for a house for him and Cali .... buuuuuutttt..... drum roll please ....

AL PACINO JUST SIGNED TO PLAY NAPOLEON, OPPOSITE OF ME IN BETSY AND THE EMPEROR!!!!!

Apr. 12th, 2009

Do It, I Dare Ya

Dear ______,

You are ______.
I would build a ______ for you.
You + Me = ______.
The song that reminds me of you is ______.
One day, I hope to ______ with you under the stars.
I ______ you.

Love, ______.

Apr. 11th, 2009

Family & Close Friends (No Rhett!)

God. I don't even know where to begin. I've avoided sitting down at my laptop because I knew it was inevitable that I would sign onto this Damn thing and have so much shit to say and just not know how to say it. I was right.

I really need to figure stuff out. I am unfortunately the type who is a worry wart. Johnny knows and knew something was wrong, so grabbed Cali and Ash and rushed home to spend time with me and Ry, wanting to be here for Easter. When I saw Johnny, I broke down. It was as if a huge wall came crumbling down and I turned into this massive blubbering mess. I was so scared that he would turn into this raging asshole, but all he did was try and comfort me.

I feel so alone in this. I know I'm not, I've got an awesome family and the best friends a girl could ever want. But still, being pregnant and at war with the father of the baby puts shit into perspective. Not only that, but I am scared. I am angry. I am a fucking mixed bundle of emotions.

Rhett came over, and Johnny answered the door. I never got a chance to see what he wanted. Johnny attacked him. I don't think I have ever seen him so angry. Rhett left at that point and a gut feeling tells me I won't be seeing him again.

I don't know what to do any more. I'm not happy I'm pregnant. I'm to the point where thoughts of adoption have cluttered my head. I hate myself for being so Damn ignorant and not protecting myself. How can I be a good mother when I obviously can't take care of myself?

I found out that Lance was in the hospital and tried to see him, but they wouldn't let me in. I wasn't family.

Liv invited me over to her and Cash's place the other night and watched some movies and got to talking with her. I told her about an idea that I had, that I was going to talk to George about, too. She loved it and jumped on board immediately. I finally have something to look forward too now.

George? Want to pack up lil D and come to London with me?

Apr. 6th, 2009

let the snarky begin

I understand that all I was was a fuck buddy. whatever. He has every right to go fuck who ever. But having his latest toy flaunt the shit is a bit immature and spiteful. And it hurts.

Hope he has fun at Julliard.

Mar. 28th, 2009

... yeah okay

.....

wtfever.

George, I didn't want to go to the concert anyway.

Rhett, come over?

Mar. 23rd, 2009

AINSLEE-GIRLS (dot) net

For Everything Ainslee


Our precious Cupcake Princess was seen exiting the LAX air port meeting up with bosom buddy, drummer George Peri, to be whisked off in Peri's Jeep. The picture to the left is a tell tale sign that the rumors floating around are in fact true. Melodi Lee is pregnant. Sources on the HP: TDH set, have told us that she has been to an OBGYN in London, as well as has one for when she is in the states. Agent Salem Nuri confirmed that Melodi is 12 weeks pregnant. That was all she would tell us. Several unofficial sites have stated that there is a possibility of three fathers. Melodi could not be reached for comments, or any information on the pregnancy. As soon as we know more, we'll get it to you, and make sure it's the right information for our favorite Ainslee Girls.

Mar. 21st, 2009

oh boy

September 9, 2009, Baby Ainslee - White will be delivered.

Mar. 16th, 2009

For George

For my BFF!!

Mar. 15th, 2009

Lil bunny foofoo friends/family only

So, I got surprised with this little bunny last Sunday. I never can stay mad at people for very long. Especially when they produce totally awesome bunny's like this one. Of course, the guy behind it was begging for forgiveness, even if I did try and act mad, it never worked. Rhett came to apologize and make up for the things he said to me. I punched him. He said I should get mad and if I wanted to punch him I could. So, I did. Even though I sprained my hand, it felt pretty damn good to do it. We ended up talking all night, some silly stuff, some serious. I think it finally sank in that I'm pregnant. He saw the pudge and you could see it finally clicking. But, we did end up in the same bed. We didn't do anything. Not like anything could happen if we did right? We ended up sleeping, then I took him to the air port so he could catch his flight back to the states. I hated to see him go, but he has a life and things to do.

I've been on and off the set, getting used to wardrobe and make up once more. They force us to read the books right before we film, to get a better grasp on the characters. I needed some clothes, so I decided to go out shopping on Friday. I ended up at a deli that I really enjoy, craving a pastrami burger and never expected the totally cool surprise I got. Meetri flew all the way to London to see me! Two visitors in less than a week. How exciting it that? We've been hanging out since then, site seeing and I took him to the set and introduced him to the cast.

I'm coming back home on the 27th. I want to see Ry and Keegan, plus hang out with George and Dyson. I haven't seen them in ages! Plus, George plans on taking me shopping, since I need it. Want to see why?



And for those of you who miss Bandit, here's a new picture of my little pet:

Mar. 6th, 2009

Friends / Family Only

I have a pudge ....



9 weeks and counting.

Christ, I'm scared.

Mar. 4th, 2009

Oldie but Goodie!

1. One secret
2. One compliment
3. One non-compliment
4. One love note, but it does not have to be for me
5. Lyrics to a song
6. How old you are
7. How long we've been friends
8. And a hint to who you are
9. After you do it for me, put it in your journal and see who does it for you.

Feb. 14th, 2009

-sighs-

Well, I'm back in London, and trying to enjoy the cabin. Being alone on Valentine's Day isn't the greatest, but I've got the guys dragging me out tonight to Piccadili to hang out at the Prince Albert. They want to try and get me to ice skate but I seriously don't think that is going to happen. I don't feel like being on my ass more than my feet.

Private )

Feb. 10th, 2009

Family & Liv Only

I hate him.

I knew when I told him that I was pregnant, he would probably flip his lid.

Did he?

No.

You know what I got? "Yeah."

That's it. No kiss my ass, no fuck you. Nothing. That hurt worse than anything he could have done. I know I fucked up, but geeze, a little help here.

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